


You'll Love It I Promise !

by richardnoelchris



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Adventure, Fluff, Honeymoon, Husbands, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:48:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richardnoelchris/pseuds/richardnoelchris
Summary: Howard and Vince are happily married and for their honeymoon Vince wants to show his husband the jungle where he grew up.
Relationships: Howard Moon & Vince Noir
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6
Collections: Boosh Secret Santa 2020!





	You'll Love It I Promise !

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Mirrorball_Suit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mirrorball_Suit/gifts).



1

"Right. So ice cream that never melts?" Howard side eyed Vince as he was watching the road while he drove.

Vince took his hat off, ruffled his blonde hair and put the hat back on again, before replying, "Yeah! S'well genius."

Howard licked his lips then opened his mouth to speak, "Yeah. It was genius when I saw it in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory too Vince."

Vince looked at Howard with his mouth wide open in shock, "Ah no way! Fought I was onto somefin' there as well!" He bit his lip in annoyance.

Howard placed a gentle hand on his husband's knee, "Yeah well sorry Vincey." He gave his knee a comforting rub and then a final pat before returning his hand back to the wheel, "How much longer do we have anyway?"

Vince smiled, "I'll check the map." At first he was 100 percent sure he was reading the map right, smiling with confidence, directing Howard to their honeymoon destination with ease, as cool as a cucumber, but as it went on he started to realise he was seeing the same road signs over and over and over again. He didn't want Howard to know that though, because he wanted to impress his husband, so he put on a brave face.

"Ok." A look of concern crossed Howard's face and he chewed his lip, "You uh sure you're alright navigating there Vince?"

Vince had his tongue out in concentration and chuckled, "Yeah! I've got this, don't worry haha." Hazarding a guess he said, "Should be about another 20 minutes."

Howard smiled as if to say 'thanks', "Alright."

Vince nodded to say 'you're welcome' and then a smile crossed his face, he was smiling from ear to ear, "Hey Howard?"

Changing gears he replied, "Hm?"

Vince turned to face Howard, "I love you."

"Aw I love you too little man. Proud to call you my husband." Howard briefly interlaced his fingers with Vince's, his hands were warm with happiness.

"Hehe me too." Vince brought their interlaced fingers up to his lips and placed a kiss on Howard's hand, then pressed it against his cheek and closed his eyes in contentment. "Aw we 'ad an amazing wedding didn't we 'Oward?" He returned his hand back to him so he could drive.

"Yes sir haha pretty amazing." Howard's tongue was poking through his teeth.

Vince was playing with his scarf while blushing, "You in a suit."

"Ha. You in a dress."

He reached forward to re tune the radio, "Hehe yeah that was fun."

"Yes sir, a beautiful wedding just like I saw it in my head." Howard smiled with joy and relief that the wedding went as planned.

"A lovely wedding."

"Hey do you remember that woman that ate straight from the chocolate fountain? ha."

"Haha 'ow could I forget?" They looked at each other, a look that said 'we're about to crimp aren't we?'

"Haha." They crimped together.

_ Ohhhhh lady why did you eat all the chocolate goodness?  _

_ Fillin up your mouth like a jewel thief filling up a swag bag. _

_ Fill it to the brim _

_ Make your tongue swim _

_ Chocolate down your chin _

_ Dribbling down on your favourite t shirt _

_ Chocolate stain _

_ Feel the pain _

_ Cos it won't come out _

"Yeah haha she really went for it didn't she, your cousin?" Vince ruffled his hair.

Howard blinked fast in confusion, "Wha? MY cousin? I thought she was related to you sir?"

Vince squawked, his voice going high pitched, "I fought she was related to you!"

"Well I didn't invite her."

"Neeva did I!"

"Hey maybe she was a jewel thief haha." He nudged Vince.

"Yeah maybe. Chocolate jewel thief." Vince took his hat off and started fanning himself with it.

"Bit weird she'd um crash a wedding for the chocolate fountain though ey?" Howard scratched his moustache.

"Well weird haha." 

The moon was lighting up the sky with its milky glow, he turned around accompanied by some hypnotic music, "She was MY cousin." He smiled, then blinked slowly and closed and opened his mouth, "A, one time, she tried to eat ah venus, she- ah tried to munch him down. Like a wagon wheel." He left his story unfinished, laughed, then turned back around.

Howard parked the van as they were finally at their honeymoon destination. He looked nervous and beads of sweat started to appear on his forehead, but Vince placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and looked at him with those magical, blue eyes, "I promise you, you're gonna love it Howard."

He looked at Vince and warmly said, "Thanks little man." He opened the van door then went round to Vince's side to open the door like a perfect gentleman. "Wow I uh can't believe I'm really here."

Vince was retrieving their suitcases from the back and he smiled, "I know I haven't been here for ages. Wonder if it's still the same haha."

A familiar voice interrupted Vince's thoughts, "Ah Vince. I was wondering when you'd get here."

Vince beamed with excitement and ran over to him, "Hi Bryan!" 

Bryan wrapped him up in a hug, the kind of hug you do when you haven't seen someone in a very long time. "You are looking well my boy."

"Aw haha fanks Bryan." He looked him up and down, "Wow so do you haha, is that a new suit?"

"Yes thank you for noticing."

"Cool." Vince hooked his thumbs through his belt loops and swung his hips to one side, "What's it made out of?"

"Ah I'm glad you asked Vince. It is made out of seeds from a balooooooooooo tree, woven together by tiny mice." He raised his eyebrows.

"Haha nice. I studied fashion so I should've known that really." He turned his head and noticed that Howard was hiding behind the van, nervous to meet his Father in law. "Oh 'ang on a minute Bry."

"No problem Vince."

"You alright 'Oward?"

"Yeah I'm….I'm just nervous." He wheeled the suitcases.

Vince took one of the suitcases from him to help, "Aw I know 'Oward and I understand why, but it's lovely here and Bryan's really nice." They were walking towards Bryan, "You've got this!" 

Howard took a deep breath, "Ok."

"S'alright, just say hi yeah."

"Yep." Howard was sweating with nerves but he introduced himself to Bryan, extending a friendly hand, "Hi I'm uh Howard Moon. I'm Vince's husband." He cleared his throat.

Bryan offered him a hug, but he refused as he doesn't like being touched by new people. "Not a hugger I see."

"Sorry. I just don't really know you that well yet." He twiddled his thumbs.

"No problem, the monkeys were the same when I first met them. Anyway let me show you around."

Vince squeezed his husband's hand to say he was proud of him and was about to wheel the suitcases deeper into the jungle when Bryan put a firm hand out, "No." 

Howard jumped.

"My peacocks will take those." He clapped his hands and two tall peacocks appeared and took their bags.

Howard's jaw dropped in both shock and slight excitement, "I-"

Vince whispered to him, "Welcome to the jungle 'Oward."

They followed Bryan as he showed them where they'd be staying.

  
  


2

When they got deeper into the jungle, a red sign lit their way, it read-

"Travelodge!" Howard's voice was higher in pitch than usual.

"Finally have the budget for it haha." Bryan replied.

"Wow!" Vince looked up towards the sign in astonishment, "S'changed a bit Bry."

"Yes Vince, but we must move with the times, you know." He looked around suspiciously to see if anyone was listening then leaned into Vince, "Do you know that not many people are using the DVDs anymore?" He raised his eyebrows, "It is all illegal websites now." He produced a DVD disc from nowhere and said, "These are useless." Then he threw it and carried on walking. "Ah here we are. Boys let me show you to your rooms."

Vince strutted forward, but Howard looked tentative and he tapped Vince on the shoulder, "Hey Vince."

"You alright?" He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Yeah I'm just- I'm still nervous." He twiddled his thumbs.

"Don't worry you'll be fine, I mean, it's changed quite a bit since I've been here but it's still a fun place haha. Don't worry babe, I've got you." He softly kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks Vince." He smiled back at him.

They stepped inside the jungle hotel made out of old bus tickets and a sort of instrumental elevator version of  _ Love Is The Drug  _ by Roxy Music was playing in the lobby. Bryan did a little wiggle dance to the song and pointed to the spectacle behind the desk "This is my mod wolf receptionist." 

"Wow hi!" Vince strutted over to the desk, "I'm Vince Noir and this-" he gestured to Howard, "is my husband Howard Moon." Vince thought this mod wolf receptionist was a genius idea, whereas Howard thought it was a little bit weird, but he'd soon come round to it.

Howard gave a tentative wave, "Alright?"

The mod wolf nodded his head and gave the boys their room key, extending a furry paw.

"Wow fanks!" Vince took the key from the wolf receptionist.

"Yeah thanks."

They walked up to their room following the mod wolf as he danced and Bryan shouted as they left, "Hope you like your room boys."

"Cheers Bry." Vince replied.

  
  
  


***

The beds were made out of woven leaves, the mattresses were memory foam and the pillows were stuffed with ostrich feathers. 

Vince looked around their room and saw a lamp in the shape of an elephant where its trunk was holding the bulb up above its head, "This is cool! Look at this 'Oward."

Howard unzipped his suitcase to look for his pajamas and his toothbrush and gave a feeble, "Yeah, 'snice Vince."

Vince had way too much energy for 11pm at night but he was excited, excited to be back where he grew up and to share it with the man he adored. He plonked himself down on the bed and bounced on it like an excited child, dangling his legs suddenly returning to his youth. He lay back on the bed, taking up space with his arms and legs, "Ah this is well comfy." He sat up and glanced at Howard, he pursed his lips, "You alright 'Oward?"

Howard was now frantically looking for his toothbrush, "Bloody thing, I can't find it." He screamed and Vince noticed he was a little off.

"Babe?" Vince furrowed his brow

"Sorry Vince." Howard exhaled.

Vince invitingly tapped the space next to him on the bed, for the wolfman to occupy, "Come lie on the bed with me, I'll give you a cuddle?"

Howard sighed and took Vince up on his offer, making his way over to the bed and lying next to Vince, who radiated instant warmth. "Sorry little man."

"Hey 'salright. Tell me what's up?" He shuffled down the bed so that he was level with Howard, because he was taller than him which was quite funny and he placed his husband's head in the crook of his neck.

"I just feel a little bit nervous Vince, you know? I just, YOU know Bryan and I don't, YOU grew up here, I didn't."

"Aw babe." He kissed his crown, "I understand but you'll really love it here and Bryan loves you too."

"Yeah, I don't know I-"

Vince got up suddenly, cutting him off, which took Howard by surprise. "Right, see that DVD player?" He pointed towards the corner of the room.

Howard sat up slowly and squinted, making his tiny eyes almost appear shut, "Yeah."

Vince opened his suitcase and pulled out a DVD, "This movie always cheers me up." He bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows.

"The Jungle Book?" Howard ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah! It's a genius film, well comforting, songs, dancing, animals, might make you feel better about fings."

"Alright pop it in then."

"Woohoo!" Vince did a  _ kerching  _ gesture with his fist and crawled towards the TV, turning it on, switching to the DVD function and popping the disc in. "Alright." He rubbed his hands together, "So the plan is we brush our teeth, get our jamas on and 'ave a cuddle to this masterpiece, sound good?" 

Howard just nodded his head.

"Trust me 'Oward you'll be feeling better in no time."

  
  


3

Morning started to rear its beautiful head, the orange from the sun filtering in through the windows, creating a feeling of warmth. Anyone looking in would see a couple all soft and sleepy, the taller man with his arms around the blonde mowgli looking boy in his blue and white vertical striped pajamas, and a littler man with his head all burrowed into his husband's chest, lips slightly parted, one arm draped over the soft squishy tummy belonging to the darker haired man, with a white t shirt that he painted a sort of skull design on the front of and boxer shorts. A stranger would be able to tell they were in love. The birds flying past would be able to see it. A fly would be able to see it, multiple times due to having so many eyes.

Howard began to stir awake, his eyelids flickering open, revealing his tiny brown eyes. He let out an inaudible yawn and looked down to see the crown of Vince's head and smiled with contentment at this, giving it a soft kiss. He carefully manouvered his way out from under his sleeping husband, sleeping soundly like a lion cub in his arms, but this was easier than Howard expected because Vince could sleep through a hurricane. He placed a kiss on Vince's cheek which made him hum with contentment, and he left the room silently.

He went downstairs past the reception area and stepped outside for a moment, just to get some fresh air and feel the sun on his face. The soundtrack of birds chirping, wolves howling, parrots squawking and the tigers roaring filling his ears, it was quite peaceful, quite serene. Howard was abruptly removed from this image by a voice shouting "NO!" Bryan's voice, who was playing cards with a big jungle cat.

"I cannot believe I have been played like this." He was shaking his head, sat down on a log by the river, while the jungle cat had a smug look on his face and took Bryan's money in one big scoop motion across the table. "Ah Howard." He spotted him from the corner of his eye, "Good morning." 

A sleepy reply, "Hi." He rubbed his eyes, "What's um?" He gestured to the table.

Bryan recognised Howard's confusion at the situation, "Oh well." He got up from the log and walked towards him, "I was playing cards with Bakundu and you should never play cards with a cheetah." 

"Right. Why?" 

"Because they cheat haha! They live up to their names boy." 

"Oh right ha." 

"Are you alright Howard?"

"Yeah I just couldn't really sleep anymore." He ran a hand through his brown hair.

"Oh fair enough." He turned around to face the cheetah, "Hey! Why are you still here? Go on get away!" Then he turned to face Howard again and rolled his eyes, "Cheetahs." 

"Mhm."

"Can I make you some breakfast Howard?" 

"That'd be nice. Thanks." 

  
  


***

  
  


Vince had risen from bed, like a sleeping lion, mane all messed up due to the fact that he's so wriggly in his sleep, although he's not aware of this, it's only because Howard tells him every morning.  _ "Alright wriggly?" _

He sat on the edge of the bed, rubbed his eyes and noticed that Howard was gone, a feeble "Oh," is all he can manage. He put on his fluffy unicorn slippers and his dressing gown and made his way downstairs. 

"Mornin." He greeted the flamingos, who were knocking on the doors saying-

"Housekeeping."

Vince's jaw dropped, "Cool!" This reminded him, he had a story about flamingo goths to tell Howard, fla-ming-goths if you will.

A cheetah strutted past him, "Ello!" He stroked his fur gently, Vince adored animals, he spoke in the way a human speaks to newborn babies, the same tone, "Ello, what's your name 'en? Aw you are beautiful." He smiled from ear to ear.

The cheetah closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle strokes from the blonde boy and he replied, "I am Bakundu the cheetah, at your service." He did a sort of queen's wave with his paw.

Vince curtsied, because he felt like he had to, after all jungle cats were like royalty, "Nice to meet you Bakundu, cool name. I'm Vince." 

"Yes I know who you are. Bryan talks about you 24/7." He licked his paw.

"Oh yeah haha, of course." He pursed his lips, "Hey Bakundu, you 'aven't seen 'Oward have you?" 

"Hm, tall, northern jazzy freak? Looks a bit like Tom Selleck?"

Vince's jaw worked up and down, "Genius. Yeah that's him."

"He was talking to Bryan, so maybe he's with him."

Vince thought to himself for a minute, maybe he wanted to try and bond with Bryan more. This thought sweetened him, so he smiled sweetly. "Cheers Bakundu, see you around yeah. I hear you play a mean game of cards haha." He pointed at him as he descended the stairs.

The one amazing thing about this place is how all the animals got along with each other, there was no prey and predator, just animals being friends.

Vince yawned, "Oward!" He ruffled his hair and called again, "Owaaaaaard!" He walked outside and spotted the river, bending down to speak with the origami swans, "Uh pardon me, but 'ave any of you seen Howard?" 

"Howard?" One swan replied.

"Jazzy boy?" Replied another.

"Tom Selleck?" Replied another.

Vince nodded his head, "Yeah! Know where 'e is?" 

The mother swan gracefully swam over, "Good afternoon Vince. If it is Howard that you seek, the tall, northern jazzy freak. Follow the sounds of trumpets, of saxophones and drums. There you will find your husband." 

Vince bit his lower lip, "Right, ok. So follow the music yeah?"

"Exactly." Bowed the swan. "Hope you find him Vince. See you later."

"Cheers origami swans later yeah?" He placed his hands on his hips, "Howard can't 've gone far." He scratched his head in puzzlement, he would have to do what the swan said to find Howard. He knew in his heart that he wasn't in any kind of danger or anything, but back at the zoo Howard was always going missing and he would have to be the one to find him and save him, so he couldn't help but worry a little bit. 

"Follow the music Vince," He said to himself as he set off around the familiar jungle to try and find his husband.

  
  
  


4

He looked and looked and looked for Howard, searching high and low and under and over skipping across the musical lily pads, each one playing a different note as he stepped on them until he saw two familiar figures. 

When the palm trees parted like curtains, he saw a magical boat, surrounded by fireflies and fairies with Bryan and Howard sitting in it. Howard was playing his guitar and noticed Vince.

"Hey little man. Afternoon." He swooped his hair out of his eyes.

He sighed with relief. "I've been looking all over for you." He climbed into the boat cautiously, "What you been up to?" He placed his hands on his hips.

Bryan looked at Howard, "Do you want to tell him?"

Vince's brows made a 'v' shape, "What's goin' on?" He asked with confusion.

"Well I couldn't sleep anymore so I got up early and bumped into Bryan." He rested his elbow on his guitar, "So we started to bond and I thought I'd um give you a surprise." He raised his eyebrow and bit his bottom lip.

"Right?" Vince looked as confused as ever.

A blue kingfisher landed on Vince's shoulder, "Alright Kevin?" He stroked his feathers lightly. It made a noise forcing Vince to place his ear to the beak, as he could speak to animals. "Hm?" 

"Just listen." Was all he said so Vince listened.

"1, 2, 3, 4." Howard's fingers danced across the fretboard as he began his beautiful serenade for his husband. Vince's eyes lit up as he realised what was happening. Howard had written a song for him with Bryan's help. Flamingoes started circling around the boat and humming along to the sweet song. It was a beautiful melody that sounded like dancing fairies and twinkling stars and the only lyrics were sang softly

_ 'You mean the world to me. You're the one that set me free………...Vinceeeeey.'  _

Vince had tears coming from his eyes, he was so flattered and happy. "Oh Howard. So magical." He wrapped his arms around him and whispered "I love you so much babe." 

Howard kissed him softly on the lips and replied "I love you too little man."

"A beautiful song Howard, you should be proud." Bryan patted him on the shoulder.

"Thanks for the help Bryan, you're a cool guy." He winked at him.

5

Night time came at the end of a stressful, but magical day and the husbands retired to their room after dancing to the whole of Santana's  _ Supernatural _ , which Bryan really vibed to, so hard that he ended up crashing out on what he thought was a log but was actually a crocodile, which luckily offered to carry him to his room on his back.

While they were putting their pyjama tops on Vince looked at Howard, "I really loved that song 'Oward."

"Yeah?" Howard buttoned up his shirt.

"Yeah! It was so thoughtful and beautiful. I'm so happy." 

"Aw you're welcome Vince." He kissed him on the cheek.

Vince giggled like a shy school girl, "I'm really happy that you bonded wiv Bryan too. I'm well proud of you."

"Aw thanks Vince." He smiled warmly.

"Oh I just remembered something." He ran a hand through his hair.

"You alright?" He stroked his jaw with concern.

"Yeah 's just I need to tell you a story about flamingo goths." He was so wide eyed and serious it was adorable.

"Flamingo goths?" Howard furrowed his brows.

"Yeah flam-ing-goths. Ha ha." He put his hands on his hips.

"Ok. I'm intrigued." He wiggled his shoulders with excitement.

"Yes! Alright take a seat then." He gestured to their bed.

"Taking a seat Sir." 

"Ok so." He clasped his hands together, "Once I was in the jungle house all by myself 'cos Bry went on tour and he left me with all these flamingoes ha ha imagine that I was just a teenager. Anyway I was doing some painting and listening to the geniuses that are The Cure. I was a right mess, I was painting with my fingers I 'ad black paint all over 'em. Then I fought I 'ad a fly in my eye, which was annoying."

"Oh I hate that." Howard interjected.

"I know right ha ha. Anyway there was nufin there so I went to the mirror and I 'ad all black under my eyes and I fought it looked quite cool. Then the flamingoes came back from their long walk and they  _ loved  _ it! ha ha they fought I looked like a proper gof I mean I was on cloud nine. So they asked me, 

"Teach us your ways Vince." 

"I mean 'ey practically begged me, so I played them some songs by The Cure on vinyl and I did their make up for them. They looked beautiful, well goth."

"Aw how sweet." 

"Yeah and now every Friday they go a the cemetry and dance to ' _ Friday I'm In Love'  _ which is genuis!" 

"Wow! That is a...good story. I am well fed Sir."

"Ha ha I knew you'd love that one."

"Quite a story. I'm gonna follow that up with a film." 

"Ooh what film?"

"Alice In Wonderland Sir. The cartoon one." He placed the DVD in the player and scooped Vince in his arms like the soft ice cream he was and they cuddled all night.

Soon the husbands and the rest of the jungle would all be silent and asleep.


End file.
